The Girl She Used To Be
by ilovetvalot
Summary: She needed to find her way back to that girl she used to be...TENSHOT. Hotch/Garcia
1. Chapter 1

_**Author's Note: Hi, guys! We've got a few notes for you today. First up, all the assignments for "The Dog Days of Summer" challenge have been private messaged to the recipients. If you have not received your message and you signed up for the challenge, then please, let me know.**_

_**Tonnie and I are diligently working toward our nomination ballot on the second annual "Profilers Choice Awards" hosted by Chit Chat on Author's corner forum. Look for it in the upcoming weeks at the forum. And, of course, we'll be advertising it in our author's notes within our stories. Any of our fellow authors, please feel free to promote the awards as well. The more the merrier.**_

_**Also, we're continuing to have oodles of fun with our fellow authors and readers over on facebook. I'm getting to know a lot of wonderful people over there and we've got quite the support system going. Feel free to come join the fun. Simply "friend" Ilovetvalot Fanfiction. I'll be sure to accept.**_

_**Also, we love hearing from you. So, drop a review if you have the time. They truly make our day.**_

* * *

**The Girl She Used To Be**

**Chapter One**

From the instant she'd walked into his office, her normally bouncy steps now replaced with a dragging, reluctant gait, he'd known something was wrong. Hell, if he was completely honest with himself (something he'd tried desperately to avoid doing lately), he'd known something had been wrong for months.

It had been her eyes that had given her away. Windows to the soul, they all said…whoever they might be. And in her case, it was true. Normally vividly painted with an array of multiple colors, each brighter than the last and then outlined with liner and perfectly applied mascara, they were now devoid of even the most sedate hues. Her glasses seemed to magnify the lack of color, leaving her appearing bereft and wan.

He wasn't accustomed to seeing her colorless. Even in the worst of circumstances, she always managed to brighten their lives with her vibrant, devil-may-care attitude. But now, with her outer appearance dimmed beyond recognition, he was certain that her inner soul was in even far greater turmoil.

Damn Derek Morgan to hell for taking that promotion to the New York City field office, he silently cursed as he motioned her into his office when her small fist knocked against his open door. "Penelope," he said, offering her a rare smile as he stared into her dulled eyes that had once sparkled with an intensity to rival any pyrotechnics display. "Come in."

Watching as she nodded faintly and stepped inside to close the door behind her, he again wished that the brawny agent was still around. Sure, during the years Penelope had worked with the team, he'd seen her depressed in the past. But Derek had always managed to pull her back to them, their unique relationship completely platonic, but as deep as any marriage he'd ever seen. It was a connection that he'd often found himself envying almost to the point of jealousy.

Waiting until she'd seated herself in front of his desk, he noted how she avoided his eyes, her own darting around his office uneasily. She was nervous, he belatedly realized. "Garcia," he said softly as her tiny fingers fidgeted with the file she held in her hand, "Was there something I could do for you?" Seeing her lips tighten slightly, he mentally sighed. There were times, especially with her, when he wished he wasn't such an introverted person. Coaxing someone into opening up and confiding in him when he wasn't exactly able to reciprocate severely limited his ability to be helpful. And he desperately wanted to aid the younger woman...take that lost look from her eyes and replace it with the enthusiasm for life it had once held.

He yearned to see that precious light back in her beautiful eyes. He missed it. Truthfully, he was addicted to it. And like a true addict, there wasn't much he wouldn't do to gain a fix.

He watched as she shifted uncomfortably in her seat, obviously anxious. What the hell could he do? Other than his son, there was only one person left in his world that could bring every instinctive urge to shelter and protect surging to the surface…and it was her.

The long and short of it was that he loved her. Despite the rules against fraternization...the sheer impossibility that he could ever maintain a successful, healthy relationship with her or anyone else...none of it mattered.

He loved her.

And the urge to act on that compulsive love that he'd tried to deny for longer than he wanted to acknowledge gnawed at him.

Tamping down on his emotions (just another thing he was well accustomed to doing, he might add), he clasped his hands against the desk blotter in front of him, the picture of control. "Penelope," he said softly, smiling as warmly as he ever had, "Tell me how I can help you."

Inhaling deeply, Penelope bit her lip as her scrambled mind tried find a way to say what she'd come in here to say...to put into words those feelings that had been coursing through her for months. Twisting her hands around the file she held, she tried to force herself to speak.

And that was the biggest laugh of all, she thought. She, who always had a ready response to any question, couldn't find a way to open her mouth and simply talk.

_Because once the words were uttered, you can't take them back_, her mind taunted her mockingly. Honestly, she wished she didn't have such an overactive conscience.

Even the long distance pep talk that her handsome hunk of chocolate had given her last night hadn't boosted her confidence enough to have this challenging conversation. Derek had spent hours on the phone last night cheering her on, trying to imbue her with the courage to speak from her heart and tell this man how she felt...how she'd always felt.

Oh, she knew that everyone on the team suspected that her current suffering revolved around Morgan's new job. And that particular tidbit it was true, since there was a void within her now that had been created by his absence. But that wasn't the only problem...that wasn't the obstacle standing between her and happiness. Derek's departure had only amplified everything she'd already been feeling. When he'd been here, he'd been able to buoy her spirits and lift her out of the darkness that this job and long unrequited love had crafted inside her.

Derek was her best friend, but he wasn't the man she was in love with. He knew it. She knew it. The only person that didn't know it was the concerned man sitting across his desk from her.

And according to Morgan's sage wisdom, the only way she was going to find her way back to the carefree girl she used to be was by being honest with herself...and even more importantly, with Aaron Hotchner.

Sometimes it would be very easy to hate her best friend...and his particular no holds barred brand of honesty.

But now, she had to face the music, no matter how clattering the sound might be. Aaron Hotchner wasn't going to wait much longer.


	2. Chapter 2

_**NEW**__** Author's Note: Hi, guys! We've got a few notes for you today. First up, our new challenge "The Colors of the Rainbow" Prompt Challenge will be up on "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" forum in the next 24 to 48 hours. It looks like it's going to shape up into a fun challenge. Check it out.**_

_**Tonnie and I are diligently working toward our nomination ballot on the second annual "Profilers Choice Awards" hosted by Chit Chat on Author's corner forum. Our tentative date to release the categories, informational post and NOMINATION BALLOT is 8/28/11. One week, guys. So, put on your reading hat and look for those stories and authors you adore. Any of our fellow authors, please feel free to promote the awards as well. The more the merrier and we can use all the help we can get!**_

_**Additionally, we'll have some new posts going up at the forum this week. So, skip over and take a look.**_

_**Also, we're continuing to have oodles of fun with our fellow authors and readers over on facebook. I'm getting to know a lot of wonderful people over there and we've got quite the support system going. Feel free to come join the fun. Simply "friend" Ilovetvalot Fanfiction. I'll be sure to accept.**_

_**Also, we love hearing from you. So, drop a review if you have the time. They truly make our day.**_

* * *

**She Used The Girl To Be**

**Chapter Two**

Hearing Hotch clear his throat, she felt a blush begin to climb up her cheeks. Jeez, how long had she been sitting here? He was a busy guy. He had things to do...people to manage, bureaucrats to subdue. He didn't have time to waste waiting for her to find her tongue, did he?

Clutching her excuse for entering his office, she mumbled, weakly lifting the manila folder in her hand, "I, uhmm, got those background checks done for the opening on the team."

Reaching across the polished desk, he nodded as he accepted the file from her finely trembling hand. "Thank you. I know this wasn't exactly in your job description...helping me find Morgan's replacement. It had to have been difficult," he offered sympathetically, kicking himself for asking her to perform the menial task. Why the hell hadn't he asked one of the other techs? Maybe he truly was an insensitive ass that couldn't see beyond his own needs.

Of maybe, the true answer was glaringly obvious.

Nobody was better than Penelope. Not even close.

"Not a problem," she muttered, still not able to meet his eyes, knowing she would be lost to those dark orbs that could capture her and ensnare her before she even realized what she'd said or agreed to do.

Placing the file in front of him on the pristine desk, Hotch questioned, "Did any of the prospects sound good to you?" Wincing, he realized what he'd asked her. Of course none of these men or women would impress her. Not when the person he was attempting to replace was Derek.

"Nobody had any red flags if that's what you mean," she stated quietly, shrugging her stiff shoulders. "Everybody was clean. It's just a matter of who you think would be the best fit."

Nodding, he absently flipped the pages, hoping she'd say something else. Anything would be better than the sprawling forbidden silence stretching like a chasm between them. As the silence dragged on, he flipped the file closed and lifted his eyes back to her. "Penelope, I know this is hard on you. Even someone like me can see that something is bothering you...that you aren't yourself. I know that I'm not Morgan, but I hope you know that I'm here for you. All you need to do is tell me what I can do." God, how he wished she'd lift her head and look at him. As it was, he was pretty sure she was going to bore a hole in his carpet with that focused stare of hers.

Oh, how those words broke her heart. What was she supposed to say? Love me? Want me? Be with me? Feeling her throat thicken, she shook her head as she tried to blink back her tears.

_"Just be honest with him, Baby Girl," she heard Morgan whispering in the back of her mind, his deep voice as clear as if he was standing right beside her. "If you're already standing on the edge of the cliff ready to jump, you might as well go ahead and take that plunge, Mama. He might just surprise you by catching you. But if you don't step off, you'll never know."_

"Hotch," she said faintly, swallowing hard as she unable to continue as she finally opened her eyes and faced him.

Seeing the turmoil and struggle staring back at him, Aaron frowned, rising from his chair to step around the desk quickly and take the visitor's chair beside hers. Covering her cool hand with his, he squeezed it gently. "Whatever it is, you can tell me," he urged softly, keeping his gaze steadily on her trembling lips. "No judgment and no repercussions. Is it Derek? The job? Tell me what's bothering you, Penelope."

Exhaling a shaky breath as she listened to his deep baritone voice cajoling her to confide in him, she struggled to remain composed. She seriously doubted this man could take a full-on Garcia meltdown. He might be able to face cold-blooded unsubs with a steely determination, but her in hysterics? Probably not.

Not even Aaron Hotcher was that strong.

"Please stop, Boss Man," she sighed weakly. "I'm just a little blue, that's all," she tried to lie (something she'd never been even a little good at, especially when he was the person she was trying to fool). "It's nothing to worry about."

"A little blue?" Hotch echoed with a snort, doubt filling the simple words. "Sweetheart, you're a walking, talking shadow these days and you have been for months," he accused, dropping the endearment without conscious thought.

Well, he'd just essentially echoed what Derek had said last night. Evidently, she really was as transparent as glass. But after her Love Muffin had left, the effort of keeping up this charade she'd been acting out for her team for years...the leave 'em laughing Queen of Technology...had just become too overwhelming to play convincingly. Especially when not even the tiniest part of her could find the funny these days. "Okay," she murmured, "Maybe I've been a bit moody lately. I'll do better. Really," she promised, privately thinking that she might want to go back to those acting classes she'd taken a couple of years ago.

Keeping her hand in his, Hotch shook his head. "You're entitled to feel however you feel, Penelope. I just want you to talk to me."

God, why wouldn't he just stop? "I can't talk about this with you," she whispered, trying to draw her hand away, his warm soothing touch too tempting to maintain without spilling her guts. Because in spite of Morgan's advice, she couldn't risk having him look at her with pity in his eyes. She couldn't take hearing him tell her that he'd never feel the way she did. She simply wasn't that strong.

His heart tightened as he comprehended her words. What if she was about to make the same decision that Morgan had made? What if she was about to leave him completely? That was a scenario that he was certain he could not survive. Shaking his head, he pasted on his most comforting smile as he assured her, "Garcia, there is nothing you can't tell me. I promise that whatever you need or even want can be arranged."

Was he reading her mind? All she needed was right in front of her, and yet it could have been as far as Mars as far as she was concerned. She could look but she could not touch...and yet his hand was still covering hers. "I'll be okay, Superagent," she whispered, unable to meet his eyes, afraid that her soul would be shining in every gaze.

"That's not an answer to my questions," Hotch replied, narrowing his eyes as he watched her attempts to avoid his eyes. "What can I do, Penelope?"


	3. Chapter 3

_**NEW**__** Author's Note: Hi, guys! We've got a few notes for you today. First up, our new challenge "The Colors of the Rainbow" Prompt Challenge is now AVAILABLE for sign-up on "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" forum. It looks like it's going to shape up into a fun challenge. Check it out.**_

_**Tonnie and I are diligently working toward our nomination ballot on the second annual "Profilers Choice Awards" hosted by Chit Chat on Author's corner forum. Our tentative date to release the categories, informational post and NOMINATION BALLOT is 8/28/11. One week, guys. So, put on your reading hat and look for those stories and authors you adore. Any of our fellow authors, please feel free to promote the awards as well. The more the merrier and we can use all the help we can get!**_

_**Additionally, we'll have some new posts going up at the forum this week. So, skip over and take a look.**_

_**Also, we're continuing to have oodles of fun with our fellow authors and readers over on facebook. I'm getting to know a lot of wonderful people over there and we've got quite the support system going. Feel free to come join the fun. Simply "friend" Ilovetvalot Fanfiction. I'll be sure to accept.**_

_**Also, we love hearing from you. So, drop a review if you have the time. They truly make our day.**_

* * *

**The Girl She Used To Be**

**Chapter Three**

It was the use of her first name that sent another ripple through her already churning body, her head jerking up suddenly as her eyes widened. She could almost imagine that deep tone of his whispering her name in the dark of the night, caressing her in a way no other man had ever been able to do. Oh no, she warned herself sharply, mentally pinching her overactive libido. You can't let yourself think those thoughts…they only lead to an even greater horror than you're already experiencing!

"Penelope?" Aaron asked worriedly when she didn't answer, her cheeks seeming to flush. "What's wrong, sweetheart?"

"I need to go," she said, her voice shaking as she tried to rise from her chair, her fight or flight reflex telling her to flee now before it was too late. "I can't do this anymore, Hotch."

"No," Hotch replied, panicked as his grip tightening on her wrist when she would have bolted for the door. "Penelope, talk to me. I swear to God, I'll find a way to fix whatever the problem is! You want Morgan back, I'll find a way. You want a raise...a better parking space...a new gadget? Name it. But you can't leave us. You can't leave me," he said, pulling her body against his as he stared down at her.

"I can't stay," she muttered as she shook her head frantically. "It's too hard...too painful," she babbled, her eyes filling with tears. "Let me go," she begged, trying to pull away from him even as her body begged for her to stay. He was too close...the warmth of his body pressing against hers too intoxicating. She needed space. She needed to escape.

Her tears shredded him, the pain cutting him with the sharpness of a well honed blade. "Penelope, no," he whispered, lifting one hand to her now pale face, his thumb capturing a glistening teardrop as it rolled down her cheek. "Don't cry, Sweetheart. Don't," he begged hoarsely as a heartbreaking sob shook her small body. Instinct took over as he automatically dropped his head lower, one hand curving to cradle her hip possessively, his only desire to stem her tears as he covered her damp lips with his.

Gasping as his mouth suddenly covered hers, Penelope's eyes fluttered closed. This couldn't be happening, could it? In a minute, she'd wake up, cold and lonely in her empty bedroom. How many times had she had this very dream? Hotch taking her in his strong arms...holding her...kissing her? But as she felt the wet rasp of his tongue stroke hers, she realized that no dream or fantasy she'd ever held in her imagination had compared to this.

Hearing Penelope's soft hum against his lips, he pulled her closer, fitting her smaller body to his. He knew it was madness, standing there in his unlocked office where anyone could open the door or glance through the blinds on the window and view him hungrily kissing his subordinate as if she was the last meal to be found on earth. He _knew _it. But, for the first time in his life, he damned the thought of consequences and tightened his arms around her, attempting to draw her amazing body even closer. This was his moment stolen from time and while she was allowing him to kiss her...she'd yet to respond. And just once, he needed to taste her desire.

_"Enjoy this," Penelope's mind whispered ardently as she felt her body start to quiver. "It's going to disappear soon...fade away just like the remnants of those dreams you've had every night for six years." _Softening against him as he swept his tongue across hers again in an erotic caress, she tentatively allowed her own to stroke back and rejoiced as she heard him emit a husky groan of his own.

"Penelope, yes," Aaron breathed against her parted lip, lightly sucking her lower one between his lips as his hand skimmed her side, cupping one of her luscious breasts in his hand as her arms lifted to creep around his neck.

Moaning as his warm palm surrounded her breast, kneading it gently as his thumb coaxed her nipple into a stiff bud, she felt the walls she'd erected around herself...those barriers she'd built to keep her safe...begin to crumble, brick by brick.

"Mmmmm," Penelope hummed passionately as his mouth took gentle licks and bites from hers as he slowly turned her so that her ass bumped his desk. Thankful for the support, she tilted her head backward as she continued to enjoy the attention his fingers lavished against her breast.

As Aaron's fingers fumbled for the first button on her turquoise blouse, the sensual spell was abruptly broken as a determine fist landed against his closed door.

Gasping, Penelope jerked away from Hotch's lips as David Rossi's gruff voice filtered through the closed door.

"Aaron," he called, "we caught a new case. War room in five."

Steadying Garcia as she fumbled to straighten her mussed clothing, Hotch blinked as he took a deep breath. "Penelope, I..."

"No," she said quickly, shaking her head. "Not now. You've got a case," she continued, her cheeks flaming as she darted around him.

"We need to talk about..."

"Don't worry! We both know this was a mistake. It never happened, Boss Man. Forget about it," Pen forced herself to say brightly as she crossed the office to the door, not daring to look back at him. She was certain that if she allowed herself that one last glance that she would shatter into a million pieces, never to be whole again.

Shocked, Hotch stared after her as she virtually ran from his office, her footsteps quick and desperate.

"Never happened?" he muttered to himself in his empty office, his arms achingly empty. Pressing his lips together, he inhaled deeply as he clamped down on his jaw.

The hell it hadn't," he thought grimly, grabbing his suit coat from the rack by his door as he stomped out of his office toward the war room. As much as he wanted to give chase to Penelope, their new case was the priority for now, but he'd be damned if he forgot one damn thing about this afternoon.


	4. Chapter 4

_**NEW**__** Author's Note: Hi, guys! We've got a few notes for you today. First up, our new challenge "The Colors of the Rainbow" Prompt Challenge is now AVAILABLE for sign-up on "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" forum. It looks like it's going to shape up into a fun challenge. Check it out.**_

_**Tonnie and I are diligently working toward our nomination ballot on the second annual "Profilers Choice Awards" hosted by Chit Chat on Author's corner forum. Our tentative date to release the categories, informational post and NOMINATION BALLOT is 8/28/11. One week, guys. So, put on your reading hat and look for those stories and authors you adore. Any of our fellow authors, please feel free to promote the awards as well. The more the merrier and we can use all the help we can get!**_

_**Additionally, we'll have some new posts going up at the forum this week. So, skip over and take a look.**_

_**Also, we're continuing to have oodles of fun with our fellow authors and readers over on facebook. I'm getting to know a lot of wonderful people over there and we've got quite the support system going. Feel free to come join the fun. Simply "friend" Ilovetvalot Fanfiction. I'll be sure to accept.**_

_**Also, we love hearing from you. So, drop a review if you have the time. They truly make our day.**_

* * *

**The Girl She Used To Be**

**Chapter Four**

Three days later found Aaron Hotchner standing in his deserted office in front of his spotless desk staring sightlessly down at a single sheet of paper at two in the morning.

And three words screamed back at him, the black and white ubiquitous printed form mocking him.

**REQUEST FOR TRANSFER **

Snatching the ridiculous standard government form of his polished desk, Aaron's jaw tightened as he scanned the document. It had been dated the very day he'd left. The same day he'd tasted her sweet lips and allowed himself to become lost in her arms.

And now, she was trying to walk away. Without warning. Without anything whatsoever.

She was leaving him.

Spotting the box checked for _immediate_ transfer, he grimaced as he clenched his fist at his side. Hell, she wasn't just walking; she was running.

"Damn it to hell and back," Hotch growled aloud, his fingers tightening around the paper, crumpling the edges. His already tense muscles tightened even more as he spotted Erin Strauss' signature slashed at the bottom of the page. That witch had authorized the change without even consulting him first.

"Bitch," he hissed under his breath as he struggled to remain calm. He'd been with the Bureau long enough to know that the switch wouldn't be valid without his name as well, hence, the form waiting for him on his desk. But the fact that neither Penelope, nor Strauss, had consulted him...

...and after what he and Penelope had shared...

His mind reeled.

Whether she'd expected to feel something or not when he'd kissed her, there was no doubt in his mind that she'd been as powerfully shaken as he had been. All the evidence he'd needed was the surprise he'd found in her eyes before she'd darted away from him.

But this kind of life-altering decision following that kind of mind-altering experience...it didn't make sense.

Other than the most professional and cursory exchanges during the work day as they'd worked to catch their unsub in New Mexico, she'd refused to discuss what had transpired during those heated moment in his office before he'd left. She ignored the phone calls he'd placed to her home and personal cell phone urging her to call him back, each effort going directly to her voice mail.

Glancing at the clock, he noted the time. A quarter past two. In the middle of the dark night.

He had two choices. Wait until morning and ambush her in her office where they might be overheard…or show up at her apartment tonight and risk being left standing on her doorstep. He knew his son was asleep, safe with his aunt. He wouldn't be able to see Jack until the morning anyway.

Decision made, he grabbed his keys and stalked toward the door, anger and hurt fueling his every footstep.

If Penelope Garcia thought she could avoid one more conversation, she had a rude awakening in store for her. She wasn't going to escape that easily.

**/***/**

The bright red numbers stared back at her, the edges blurring as she blinked. She had to sleep, didn't she? Three days without sleep had to be a record, even for her. She needed her beauty rest…especially tonight. She knew what tomorrow would bring, and she couldn't afford to have her mind befuddled…at least not any more than it already was.

But sleep continued to elude her, and Penelope flopped her head back down against her overstuffed pillow. Kicking at the covers, she sighed as she stared up at the darkened ceiling, her overworked mind refusing to silence in spite of her best efforts.

But every time she would think that she had reached some semblance of calm, her traitorous mind would suddenly kick back into high gear. She had made the only decision she could make, she told herself firmly. She was choosing to protect herself, wasn't she?

Well, at least that's what she had told herself as she had completed those unending transfer papers. And when Erin Strauss had tried to convince her to stay, she had tritely pleaded burnout, knowing that the older agent couldn't fault such an admission. It was common enough, and the usual excuse of every agent seeking transfer. Watching violent crime play out across the nation via the internet would eventually wear down even a goddess such as herself. Cybercrime would be a nice diversion.

Or so she told herself.

Everyone would think she was pining after Derek, but she knew better. And even though her mind suddenly played a movie reel of emotions through her mind, she refused to acknowledge that someone else would know better, too. She couldn't' dwell there. She had to escape.

But as she once again began to lecture herself on the now standard spiel of forgetting, her introspection was broken by the sound of a firm knock against her front door. Glancing back at the clock, Garcia frowned as she threw her legs over the side of the bed. If her neighbor had locked herself out of her apartment again, Garcia was not prepared to do her normal impersonation of expert locksmith. Not tonight.

She'd take a sledgehammer to the freaking door...the wonderfully benevolent Penelope Garcia, aka, the Goddess of Goodness, appeared to have perished in a haze of icy despair.

Grunting as her toe hit the coffee table on her way to the door, she bent to rub the throbbing digit as another loud knock resounded around the living room.

"What in the name of Bill Gates' billions," she grumbled under her breath, glaring at the offending door, her sleep deprived eyes wavering as she rubbed her fingers over her eyelids.

"Come on, Penelope," a familiar deep voice growled as an insistent fist landed against her front door again, "We both know you're in there!"

Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no! He couldn't be here. He couldn't be standing right outside her door. Not tonight. How in the world had her world suddenly flipped into the wormhole without her seeing the signs on the astrological charts? HOW?


	5. Chapter 5

_**NEW**__** Author's Note: Hi, guys! We've got a few notes for you today. First up, our new challenge "The Colors of the Rainbow" Prompt Challenge is now AVAILABLE for sign-up on "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" forum. It looks like it's going to shape up into a fun challenge. Check it out.**_

_**Tonnie and I are diligently working toward our nomination ballot on the second annual "Profilers Choice Awards" hosted by Chit Chat on Author's corner forum. Our tentative date to release the categories, informational post and NOMINATION BALLOT is 8/28/11. One week, guys. So, put on your reading hat and look for those stories and authors you adore. Any of our fellow authors, please feel free to promote the awards as well. The more the merrier and we can use all the help we can get!**_

_**Additionally, we'll have some new posts going up at the forum this week. So, skip over and take a look.**_

_**Also, we're continuing to have oodles of fun with our fellow authors and readers over on facebook. I'm getting to know a lot of wonderful people over there and we've got quite the support system going. Feel free to come join the fun. Simply "friend" Ilovetvalot Fanfiction. I'll be sure to accept.**_

_**Also, we love hearing from you. So, drop a review if you have the time. They truly make our day.**_

* * *

**The Girl She Used To Be**

**Chapter Five**

"No!" she gasped faintly, taking a stumbling step backward and tripping over her long robe, landing in an unceremonious heap on her plush carpet. "No, no, no, no, no!" she babbled, her breath catching in her chest as she stared at her pink door in horror as pounding grew louder and more determined. "Can't be. They don't get back until tomorrow morning," she whispered to the Sponge Bob pillow on her couch, Patrick staring back at her mockingly.

"I pushed the flight up. I wanted to get back earlier, but we were held up by some plane malfunction. I had a feeling there was a hell of a reason I needed to get my ass back here and I found it waiting for me on my desk. Open the damn door, Garcia, before I pick the lock," Aaron called impatiently through the barrier separating him from Penelope.

Simultaneously cursing his bat-like hearing and his supersecret Spidey senses, Garcia pulled herself back to her unsteady feet. Crap on a cracker, she wasn't prepared for this! Not now! Not tonight, her stressed mind pleaded as she shook her head hopelessly. But as she watched the door knob rattle across the room, she knew that Aaron Hotchner was more than capable of following through with his threat.

True, Derek had warned her that while the big guy might remain stoic and silent 98% of the time, that everyone had a point where the pressure cooker that was his brain would blow its top. He'd cautioned her that her decision might just be the straw that broke the camel's back. And based on the steadily growing angrier mutterings outside, not just the proverbial back of this particular camel had been shattered. She'd stepped on a horse's tail, too.

"Penelope!" Hotch's imperious voice thundered through the obviously way too thin wood. "The door! Now!"

Good God, she moaned to herself. The neighbors. She bet Ms. Kawowski across the hall had already speed dialed DCPD! "I'm coming!" she heard herself yelling back as she tripped toward the door. Reaching it almost instantly, she jerked it open just as his heavy fist hit the wood again. Dodging the oncoming blow with a quick duck of her heard, she gripped the muscular arm in a death grip as she watched her elderly neighbor and landlady's face appear in the doorway across the hall. Jerking Hotch behind her with a strength she didn't know she possessed, she inhaled quickly and prayed Hotch could keep his trap closed while she dealt with this little problem.

"Penny? Is everything alright out here?" Mrs. Kawowski's aged voice queried out into the otherwise empty hallway, her eyes suspicious as she peered at the man standing behind her favorite tenant.

Pasting on her sunniest smile, Penelope bobbed her head enthusiastically as she attempted to lie convincingly. "Everything's fine, ma'am. My boss here is just a little impatient, and you know what a deep sleeper I can be," she lied, hoping her lame excuse would be enough to keep the old woman's fingers off the 9, 1, 1, keys on her phone. God only knew the woman had enough experience with those particular numbers in the past, and Penelope was usually the one required to explain to the boys in blue why the old bat..erm, sweetheart… shouldn't be carted off to the nearest funny farm.

Lifting her chin, the petite woman nodded slowly as she frowned at Aaron reprovingly. "Yes, dear. But, in the future, perhaps you'd like to call first, young man," she admonished primly, her eyes stern as the leveled on the man towering behind her tenant.

Glancing over her shoulder, she noted Hotch's reddened face as he began to open his mouth. "Oh, he will, Mrs. K! I'll make sure of it," she said, smiling again as she quickly closed the door on the disapproving lined face. Exhaling, Penelope turned to face her Unit Chief, slamming a hand against his chest as she accused, "Are you trying to get me thrown out of a rent controlled apartment in the heart of D.C?"

"No," Hotch said evenly, struggling to control his ire, "I was _trying_ to get you to open the damn door."

"Mission freaking accomplished, Boss Man!" Penelope huffed, throwing her hands in the air. "Now, what? What's so freaking important that you couldn't wait four more hours to talk to me about it?" she asked, crossing her arms defensively over her chest, her neon pink robe feeling entirely too thin with his dark eyes virtually incinerating her.

Narrowing his eyes, Hotch cocked his head, "Funny you should ask? I was thinking the same thing about you when I found this on my desk when I got back to the office tonight," he bit out, thrusting her request for a transfer to Cybercrimes at her.

"Oh," she whispered, the one simple syllable caught in her throat as she stared down at the very familiar form. "That."

"Oh that, she says," Hotch mimicked as he rolled his eyes, his fingers tightening around the offending piece of paper. Waving the document in her direction again, he added, pointedly, "THIS is what had me running red lights tonight. THIS is what brings me to your home and had your neighbor about to call the local LEOs on me. Can you imagine Rossi's face if he'd have had to come bail me out of jail?" Hotch rambled, scrubbing a hand over his face, his gritty eyes burning. Christ, when was the last time he'd slept?

Oh, yeah, he reminded himself. Three damn days ago! And those sleepless hours weren't all because of a rabid unsub. Most of them had been because he'd tossed and turned trying to think of anything but the unique woman standing nervously in front of him.

"I wouldn't have actually allowed them to arrest you," Penelope replied absently. Tilting her head as she suddenly comprehended his words, she met his dark eyes as she asked slowly, "You ran red lights?"

"You're focusing on that?" Hotch asked, exasperation starting to fill his voice as he narrowed his eyes.

Shrugging, Penelope crossed her arms more tightly over her pink satin covered chest. "The staid Aaron Hotchner admits to willingly breaking the law. It'll take me a minute to let that thought settle."

"Well, while you're considering my traffic sins, perhaps you can answer my original question." Arching one brow, he asked, his voice suddenly softening, "Why are you leaving me, Penelope?"

Visibly recoiling at his stark question, she automatically took a step back. "It's what's for the best."

"Best for whom?" Hotch asked irritably, rubbing a hand over his gritty eyes. "You? Me? Derek? Who exactly is going to win here, Penelope. I've heard you say more than once that you'd go back to back alley hacking before you'd join the Cybercrime Unit. When did that suddenly change? Is it that you can't stand to face every day without seeing Derek? Trust me, he won't be two floors down either," he ranted bitterly, shoving a hand through his dark hair, ruffling it uncharacteristically. Taking a step forward, he shook his head. "You can't ignore what happened between us, Penelope. We can't pretend it never happened."


	6. Chapter 6

_**NEW**__** Author's Note: Hi, guys! We've got a few notes for you today. First up, our new challenge "The Colors of the Rainbow" Prompt Challenge is now AVAILABLE for sign-up on "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" forum. It looks like it's going to shape up into a fun challenge. Check it out.**_

_**Tonnie and I are diligently working toward our nomination ballot on the second annual "Profilers Choice Awards" hosted by Chit Chat on Author's corner forum. Our tentative date to release the categories, informational post and NOMINATION BALLOT is 8/28/11. One week, guys. So, put on your reading hat and look for those stories and authors you adore. Any of our fellow authors, please feel free to promote the awards as well. The more the merrier and we can use all the help we can get!**_

_**Additionally, we'll have some new posts going up at the forum this week. So, skip over and take a look.**_

_**Also, we're continuing to have oodles of fun with our fellow authors and readers over on facebook. I'm getting to know a lot of wonderful people over there and we've got quite the support system going. Feel free to come join the fun. Simply "friend" Ilovetvalot Fanfiction. I'll be sure to accept.**_

_**Also, we love hearing from you. So, drop a review if you have the time. They truly make our day.**_

* * *

**The Girl She Used To Be**

**Chapter Six**

"We could if you'd cooperate," Pen muttered as her cheeks flushed, wincing as she saw the thunderclouds roll across his face.

"You can consider that request rejected," Hotch growled dangerously. "This one, too, for that matter," he added, shredding the bureau form into two pieces, dropping them to flutter to the carpet at their feet.

Jaw dropping, Pen's eyes followed the fluttering papers to the floor. "What did you do?" she whined, bending to pick up the shredded document.

"I just cut off your only avenue of escape," Hotch replied easily. "Guess dealing with me now is less of a choice and more of a necessity, isn't it?"

"You're nuts!" Pen shook her head, glaring at him.

"Up until three days ago, I was perfectly sane," Aaron retorted, wondering if he would ever revisit that particular emotional state again. "Care to ask me when I started losing my until now very well-ordered marbles? My carefully crafted, well honed composure?" he continued, his deep voice rising.

"I can't believe you're blaming me," Penelope huffed, waving a hand in the air. "The way I remember it, you kissed me, Boss Man. Not the other way around."

"You enjoyed it," Hotch volleyed adeptly. "Go ahead, see if you can deny it. Look me in the eye and tell me that you didn't feel anything," he demanded. "If you can do that, I'll walk away. I'll even make sure that transfer comes through for you. All you have to do is look at me and say that it didn't mean anything."

Pressing her lips together in a thin line, Garcia shook her head. "You know, I always thought it would be Rossi or Morgan that ended up being the biggest pain in my tuckus," she bit out after a few moments.

Raising an inky eyebrow, Hotch pointed out needlessly, "That's not a denial, Penelope."

"Aaarggghhhh!" Penelope growled hoarsely, spinning on her bare heel and stomping across the room. "Freaking men! Utterly freaking clueless men!" she muttered to herself. "Blind as a freaking bat right up until the moment I'm finally ready to walk away. Then, he begins to see a glimmer of flipping light. Six darned years, I waited! Six! And now, he wants answers...intrudes into my lair and acts like I owe him explanations! A freaking star profiler and it takes him six freaking years to realize something is amiss. "

Raising his eyebrows as he watched her rant, pacing back and forth behind her couch, Hotch narrowed one eye suspiciously. "Are you referring to me?"

Her eyes flashed as she turned to glare at him. "Does the word 'duh' mean _anything _at all to you? You know, I'm really beginning to think it's not our resident genius that's the dense one in our motley crew!"

"Excuse me?" Hotch yelped indignantly.

"Oh, right now I'm convinced there is no excuse for you!" Penelope grumbled, her hands dropping to her hips as her robe gapped, exposing a healthy dose of her cleavage.

Slowly crossing the room to stand in front of her, Hotch tried to keep his eyes on her face rather than the creamy skin now tantalizing him. "Penelope," he began patiently, talking slowly, much as he did when he was trying to coax an answer from his reluctant son, "why don't we go back to my original question and start there. Why do you want to leave the Unit and take a job that I know you don't want with people that you loathe?" he asked reasonably.

Narrowing her eyes, emotion overwhelmed her...all the hurt and longing...all the years of hoping he'd notice what was standing right there in front of him...all of it rising like a tidal wave, threatening to drown her. "You want to know why? The real, honest to God reason?"

"I'm a big fan of the truth, Sweetheart. You should know that by now."

"Truth?" Garcia laughed humorlessly. "Okay, how's this for truth. You want a reason? Fine! You! The reason is YOU!" she yelled, jamming a pointed finger into his solid chest, her emerald shaded nail burying in the hair roughened skin. "Put that in your pipe and smoke it, Sailor!"

"Look, Penelope," Aaron tried to reason with her, letting out a deep breath as he captured her hand quickly, "I apologize. Not for kissing you in my office, but for the fact that you didn't like it. And for whatever else I've done over the past, I'm…."

"Didn't like it?" Penelope snorted, trying to pull her hand away from his in spite of the electric charge now flickering through her skin. "You think I didn't like that kiss that I've been waiting for far longer than I can remember?"

"It's obvious that you didn't. Especially if it sent you trying to transfer out of a unit that's more of a family than anything else," Aaron replied almost rotely, then suddenly stopped, his mouth still open. He closed his lips for a bare second, then asked carefully, "What did you say again?"

"And he calls himself a profiler. Couldn't see the forest for the trees with a flashlight and two hands," Garcia retorted as she rolled her eyes, her courage rising with each spoken words. Using her free hand, she tapped a finger against her full lips as she asked, "Do these lips look like they've suffered, Mr. Oblivious?"

Confused, Hotch shook his head. "Oblivious? You're being deliberately evasive," he accused defensively. "Avoiding my phone calls, requesting transfers behind my back...what the hell am I supposed to think? I don't think it takes a killer intellect to comprehend that you wanted to avoid me AND my lips in the future!

"Errrghhhh!" Penelope squealed again, her cheeks reddening with anger. "For somebody so smart, you're acting really, really dumb right now, Boss Man! But, as of now, it is no longer my problem, Lone Ranger. I'm out. Finished. Done. Finite!" she ranted, her hands waving wildly in the air.

"Well, at least you sound more like yourself," Hotch muttered under his breath. "I'd prefer your rage wasn't directed at me, but it's a start. I'm still not letting you quit though. And we're still not done talking about what happened between us."

"Did your mama drop you on the head as a child?" Penelope asked ever so sweetly. "How many times do I need to say it? Which language would you like? I can do English, French, German, American Sign, and I might be able to squeak it out in Mandarin. _You_ are the problem," she said adamantly, signing as she spoke, her fingers deftly flipping in every direction.

"I'm not deaf, Penelope."

"Coulda fooled me," she snapped. "I'm finally going to do what's best for me," she continued, her eyes sparkling as she faced him defiantly. "It is no longer my problem if you can't spot the forest for the freaking trees."


	7. Chapter 7

_**NEW**__** Author's Note: Hi, guys! We've got a few notes for you today. First up, our new challenge "The Colors of the Rainbow" Prompt Challenge is now AVAILABLE for sign-up on "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" forum. It looks like it's going to shape up into a fun challenge. Check it out.**_

_**Tonnie and I are diligently working toward our nomination ballot on the second annual "Profilers Choice Awards" hosted by Chit Chat on Author's corner forum. Our tentative date to release the categories, informational post and NOMINATION BALLOT is 8/28/11. One week, guys. So, put on your reading hat and look for those stories and authors you adore. Any of our fellow authors, please feel free to promote the awards as well. The more the merrier and we can use all the help we can get!**_

_**Additionally, we'll have some new posts going up at the forum this week. So, skip over and take a look.**_

_**Also, we're continuing to have oodles of fun with our fellow authors and readers over on facebook. I'm getting to know a lot of wonderful people over there and we've got quite the support system going. Feel free to come join the fun. Simply "friend" Ilovetvalot Fanfiction. I'll be sure to accept.**_

_**Also, we love hearing from you. So, drop a review if you have the time. They truly make our day.**_

_**And for those wondering, tomorrow's chapter is rated M!**_

* * *

**The Girl She Used To Be**

**Chapter Seven**

Lips tightening, Hotch exhaled a long breath through his nose as he took a step forward. "Is that so?" he asked his voice deceptively soft as he stood toe to toe with the tiny fury in front of him.

"Ohhhhh, puhhhhllleassse," Penelope sniffed, tilting her head to glare into his dark eyes. "The tall, dark and looming act sooooo does not work on the Goddess of Goodness. What are you, an amateur?"

His lips twitched as his eyes clashed with hers. "You're infuriating."

"You're blind," Penelope retorted flawlessly.

"You're exasperating," Hotch offered, almost calmly.

"You're domineering," Garcia lobbed back, her hands settling on her hips as she matched his stance.

"Maddening," Hotch growled.

"Dictatorial," Garcia hissed.

"You know we could go on like this all night?" Hotch noted in a reasonable voice.

"Bring it," Penelope challenged bravely, not giving an inch. If he thought he could intimidate her by hovering over her, staring down his long patrician nose, he didn't know her nearly as well as he seemed to think he did.

Master profiler, her ass.

"You realize," Hotch said conversationally as he dropped one hand to the sash of her still gapping robe, "...that if you don't work for me, then there's no reason for me not to do this," he said, easily pulling the belted sash loose. "In fact," he continued, curling a warm palm around her rounded hip as he tugged her closer, "I could even see it as encouragement."

Feeling herself drawn toward his warm body like a moth to a flame, Penelope gasped, then forced herself to respond as flippantly as possible, "Far be it from me to be a wet blanket on your party." She knew she should be fighting those crafty little hands of his that were arduously working to slip the shiny material of her robe over her shoulders, but honestly, she was a woman...and standing there, looking at her like she was his favorite ice cream treat, could she be blamed for taking a shaky step toward temptation?

After all, she deserved a treat, didn't she?

Her breathless words brought a widening grin to his lips. "I'm not planning on doing this solo, Sweetheart." He took advantage of her opening mouth to take that moment to seal his lips to hers, his tongue dueling passionately with hers as he captured the soft whisper of her sigh.

Penelope was certain that she was dreaming. It had to be blatantly obvious that her overtired mind had finally surrendered to the Sandman and she was still tucked into her bed, her mind slipping through the realm of dreams and twisting her most hidden fantasies into some warped form of reality. There was no other explanation, after all. Otherwise, how could she explain how she suddenly found herself hauled flush against the man that she had been lusting after for more months, (no, correct that to years, she reminded herself ever so helpfully) than she could remember. How could she explain the waves of heat that were rapidly threatening to overtake her body, or how her knees inexplicably lost the ability to support her? And his tongue….oh, sweet motherboard of Macintosh, his tongue should be registered as a lethal weapon in all fifty states and Puerto Rico.

If she never took another breath, she could die a happy woman. And if she never woke up, that would be okay, too. Just as long as she could go like this...hungrily tangling her tongue with his as his warm hands slid over her body knowingly.

Walking Penelope backward until her rump hit the solid lime green wall of her living room, Aaron pressed his body to hers, the swollen bulge in his trousers nestling the heart of her. Clad now in a brief plum baby doll nightgown, her lips puffy from his voracious kisses, she gasped breathlessly as he drew back to meet her stunned eyes.

"Penelope," he whispered, "I want you to understand something. You might be able to walk away from the Unit. I can't control that decision. But, there's no way in hell I'm going to let you escape me. Not when we can create this kind of heat together. Are we clear?" he asked her between deep, wet kisses, first to her lips, then to each side of her neck, and finally to the seductive vee of her nightgown, hovering just above her heaving breasts.

Gasping as she felt the pads of his fingertips skating around the short hem of her nightgown, heightening the anticipation, she nodded. "Crystal," she declared faintly, moaning audibly as his wicked tongue found her collar bone, flicking it quickly and pulling a shudder from her aroused body.

"Good girl," he growled hoarsely against her neck as her body arched against his, her hardened nipples dragging against his chest. Sliding her nightgown up her hips to bunch around her waist, he thrust his hips against her.

"Oh, God," she panted, her fingers raking his short dark hair as his strong arms hiked her higher against the wall behind her, putting her aching breasts in front of his mouth. Her legs circled his slim waist automatically as he took one firm satin covered peak between his lips, sucking hungrily, his tongue flicking the beaded nipple quickly.

"You like this?" he rasped as he switched his attention to her other breast, admiring her exposed cleavage before sliding his tongue underneath the fabric to stroke her puckered nipple.

Head falling back against the wall, Penelope shifted her body against his hardened arousal, trying to prolong the almost painful pleasure the friction caused. "Mmmm hmmm," she replied, her voice almost a whine.

Feeling the woman in his arms rocking against his hard length, Hotch smiled against her damp flesh, shifting back up her body to capture her lips for another kiss as he dropped a hand between them. Stroking his thumb against her moist panties, he swallowed her squeal of delight.

"You're wet for me," he charged huskily against her mouth.

Breathing fast as his thumb swept back and forth against her throbbing core, Penelope panted, "Has anybody ever told you that you state the obvious way too much?"

"I could stop," Hotch taunted, nipping her lower lip and stilling his movements, his thumb hovering teasingly just above her pouty nether lips.

"No," Garcia denied immediately, her gentle voice now cloaked in need as she arched her hips, needing that wonderful stimulation to continue.


	8. Chapter 8

_**NEW**__** Author's Note: Hi, guys! We've got a few notes for you today. First up, our new challenge "The Colors of the Rainbow" Prompt Challenge is now AVAILABLE for sign-up on "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" forum. It looks like it's going to shape up into a fun challenge. Check it out.**_

_**Tonnie and I are diligently working toward our nomination ballot on the second annual "Profilers Choice Awards" hosted by Chit Chat on Author's corner forum. Our tentative date to release the categories, informational post and NOMINATION BALLOT is 8/28/11. One week, guys. So, put on your reading hat and look for those stories and authors you adore. Any of our fellow authors, please feel free to promote the awards as well. The more the merrier and we can use all the help we can get!**_

_**Additionally, we'll have some new posts going up at the forum this week. So, skip over and take a look.**_

_**Also, we're continuing to have oodles of fun with our fellow authors and readers over on facebook. I'm getting to know a lot of wonderful people over there and we've got quite the support system going. Feel free to come join the fun. Simply "friend" Ilovetvalot Fanfiction. I'll be sure to accept.**_

_**Also, we love hearing from you. So, drop a review if you have the time. They truly make our day.**_

* * *

**The Girl She Used To Be**

**Chapter Eight**

"Hmmm," Hotch hummed with satisfaction as he tapped his thumb against her swollen berry sized bud, "Thought so."

"Ohhh!" Garcia shuddered as his thumb pressed against her clit, sending shards of pleasure radiating through her body. Jerking against his touch, she moaned.

"Say my name," Hotch demanded, his thumb stroking the sensitive skin exposed just above her panties. "Say it," he urged huskily, sweeping his thumb underneath the shiny soft material to stroke her slick bud tenderly.

Mouth falling open, Garcia inhaled deeply, unable to speak as he lazily circled her quivering clit with light whisper soft caresses. "Ahhhh," she moaned, lifting to his touch as her legs tightened around his waist. Crying out when that gentle pressure disappeared abruptly, she begged, "No! Don't stop!" Didn't he realize how much she needed this? How long she'd been waiting for it?

"My name," Hotch growled, his eyes flashing as he met her befuddled gaze. "Say it."

"Aaron," she breathed, her heated gaze never wavering from his.

Rewarding her with a slow sensual caress, he replied, his voice gruff, "Again."

Her response quicker this time, she readily answered, "Aaron!" Feeling him shift, she sighed as his forefinger curled around her engorged bud. "Ah, yeah, Aaron," she moaned, her hips flexing as he touched her, rubbing his cock through his trousers.

"Yeah," he praised. "That's it sweetheart," he murmured approvingly as she rocked against him, her beautiful face growing more flushed with every passing moment. "Ride my fingers," he whispered ardently as hit lowered his head to gently take her nipple between his teeth.

Sensation swelled as she rubbed against him, her small moans slowly turning into throaty groans. "God, yes, Aaron," she panted as she felt the sting of teeth against her breast, her pussy convulsing at the love bite. "Mmmmm, don't wanna cum yet," she begged frantically as his fingers sliced through her juices against her tender flesh, pushing her toward the edge of sanity. "Make it last!" she pleaded, her fingers tugging frantically at his neck.

Releasing the breast he'd been latched to, Hotch lifted his head to meet her panicked gaze. "You think this is the only time I plan on watching you cum?" he whispered, his voice gravelly with passion, his fingers unrelenting as they massaged her tight bundle of nerves. "Not even close, angel," he whispered as he threw her over the edge, pinching a thumb and forefinger over her clit and squeezing gently. "I'm just getting you ready for the main event," he promised darkly as she screamed her release hoarsely against his neck.

Moments later as she melted against him, he hitched her body up his, his hand palming her ass as he lifted her. "Hold on," he murmured against her ear as he turned them toward what he assumed was her bedroom.

Walking into the cool darkness, he smiled as he heard her soft satisfied sigh when as he lowered her boneless body to the bed. Watching her smile lazily as he quickly stripped, he could only wonder what thoughts were now flooding her beautiful mind. Tapping her nose lightly, his grin widened as her eyes fluttered open, feminine satiation clearly evident in her heavy lidded stare. "Hey there," he whispered, stretching his long body over hers.

"Hey, yourself," she breathed, gasping as she felt his now naked body against hers. "You're naked," she noted needlessly, her pupils dilating slightly as she registered the feel of his hard length nestling her satin panties.

"I know," Aaron noted reasonably, "but it's so difficult to make love with clothes on, don't you think?" he teased, pressing small kisses along the graceful arch of her neck. Capturing her lips in a gently persuasive kiss, he murmured against her damp flesh, "You didn't think we were done, did you?"

Penelope felt her still throbbing core clench at his soft question in spite of the delicious orgasm she'd just experienced. Smiling against his neck as he licked her breast again, she lifted one leg to tangle with his. "I'm not sure I can take much more pleasure," she remarked, stretching against him, her muscles now relaxed and heavy.

"How about I be sure enough for both of us then?" Hotch replied huskily, his fingers hooking the elastic of her panties and tugging them downward.

Wriggling out of the damp garment, Penelope bit her lip as she heard Hotch's quick intake of breath when she lifted against him, her passion slick flesh gliding silkily along his and laughed at the hoarse curse he released. "Problems, Boss Man?" Garcia asked, amused.

Gripping one of her curvy hips within a tight hold, Aaron squeezed warningly. "Sweetheart, the last time I was intimate with anyone, I was married. Do the math on that and I think you'll see my problem," he confided, his warm breath bathing her neck as he fought for control. God, how he just wanted to thrust into the velvety heat he'd only been offered tantalizing glimpses of so far...lose himself inside that intoxicating heat he'd felt emanating from her. But he'd waited longer than he wanted to think about for these moments, he wouldn't waste them by being hurried.

Her eyes widened at that new bit of information and Penelope felt her body quicken underneath him. Lifting her leg a little higher, opening herself to him, the heel of her foot slid over one of his tight buttocks. "Is that so?" she whispered against his cheek.

Her steamy breath fanned his cheek, sending an erotic chill through him. "Sad, but true," he replied huskily, turning his head to kiss her gently. "I was waiting for it to mean something to me again. And then...there was you. Always hovering on the edges of consciousness anytime a woman approached me. Every time I thought I might get close, I'd compare her to you. Her eyes didn't smile like yours. Her laugh didn't send a warm thrill down my spine like yours did. Her curves didn't excite me like yours did," he whispered, one palm gently squeezing her breast. "Every woman just paled beside you."

Blinking back tears as she listened to his quiet confidences, Penelope felt her throat thicken. "Is that a line?" she choked, her hands tightening around his broad shoulders.

"Do I seem like the kind of guy capable of delivering a believable line, Sweetheart?" Aaron asked drolly.

Laughing in spite of the gravity of the situation, Penelope smiled. "Nope," she said softly. "You'd never waste valuable time on something as pointless as lies."

"Then why ask?" Hotch asked raising an eyebrow as he stroked a gentle finger against her velvet soft cheek.

"Because I had to know. For sure," she answered truthfully, meeting his eyes with a softened gaze.

"Now you do," Hotch replied simply, dropping a kiss against her parted lips.

"You couldn't have said all this years ago?" Penelope whispered, her eyes burning. "It really would have saved us a lot of time."


	9. Chapter 9

_**NEW**__** Author's Note: Hi, guys! We've got a few notes for you today. First up, our new challenge "The Colors of the Rainbow" Prompt Challenge is now AVAILABLE for sign-up on "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" forum. It looks like it's going to shape up into a fun challenge. Check it out.**_

_**Tonnie and I are diligently working toward our nomination ballot on the second annual "Profilers Choice Awards" hosted by Chit Chat on Author's corner forum. Our tentative date to release the categories, informational post and NOMINATION BALLOT is 8/28/11. One week, guys. So, put on your reading hat and look for those stories and authors you adore. Any of our fellow authors, please feel free to promote the awards as well. The more the merrier and we can use all the help we can get!**_

_**Additionally, we'll have some new posts going up at the forum this week. So, skip over and take a look.**_

_**Also, we're continuing to have oodles of fun with our fellow authors and readers over on facebook. I'm getting to know a lot of wonderful people over there and we've got quite the support system going. Feel free to come join the fun. Simply "friend" Ilovetvalot Fanfiction. I'll be sure to accept.**_

_**Also, we love hearing from you. So, drop a review if you have the time. They truly make our day.**_

* * *

**The Girl She Used To Be**

**Chapter Nine**

"I doubt it. All you could see was Derek and I sure as hell wasn't getting in between that," Hotch muttered, stiffening slightly above her.

Soothing her hands down the tense muscles of his back, Pen shook her head against the pillow. "There was nothing to come between, Aaron. Derek and I were never anything but friends. Nothing more, nothing less. Honestly, I hid behind him."

"Pardon?" Hotch frowned, bracing an elbow on either side of her as he lifted away to peer down into her bottomless eyes.

"He was my cover. My shield. My reluctant, yet all too able sacrificial lamb," Penelope elaborated, lifting a hand to stroke Aaron's uncompromising jaw.

"Who the hell were you hiding from?" Hotch asked, his dark eyes perplexed.

Merely raising her brows, she met his stare wordlessly and waited...and waited...and...

"Are you kidding me?" Hotch shouted as comprehension finally dawned.

Slamming a hand against his opened mouth, Garcia shook her head, pressing a finger to her lips. "Shhhh! I don't think I can save you from my landlady twice in one night, Aaron!" she hissed, glancing worriedly toward the door to her bedroom.

Rolling to his back in one quick motion and taking her with him, Aaron stared up into Garcia's surprised face. "First," he said, capturing her hand in his and pulling it away from his mouth, "if anything was going to bring Old Lady Kawasaki..."

" Kawowski," Penelope corrected him automatically, bracing her hands against his strong chest as she stared down at him.

"Whatever! If anything was going to bring her running with her trusty little phone, it would have been those moans you were making for me earlier. Second," Hotch growled, pinching her well-formed ass painfully, "Why the hell didn't you tell me how you felt!"

"Owww," Pen squealed, slapping at the fingers pinching her ass. "Quit it!" she squealed, squirming on top of him. "I'm sorry!" she whispered. "But you didn't tell me either."

"I thought you were in love with Morgan," Hotch replied defensively, bumping his forehead against hers.

"And I thought you'd reject me, so there!" Garcia retorted, her pink lips pursing as she glared down at him. "I didn't have any reason to think you wouldn't."

"You didn't have any reason to think I would, either," Hotch replied, his hands settling possessively around her hips. "And just for the record, I wouldn't have rejected you. Ever," he assured her, his dark eyes boring into hers, willing her to see the sincerity shining there.

"You wouldn't?" Garcia asked weakly, her body relaxing completely against his.

"No. I wouldn't. I'm not. In case you've missed the evidence," Hotch whispered, lifting her hips to nuzzle her soft entrance, "I want you. I've never _not_ wanted you. Get it now?" he asked, cupping her neck and guiding her sweet lips back to his. "I'm in love with you," he whispered as he heard her breath catch audibly in her throat.

"I...I...," Penelope faltered, shocked to her core.

"Oh, God," Hotch whispered, mockingly horrified, "She's speechless. Are there frogs falling from the sky?" he teased, kissing her temple.

"Hey!" Penelope yelped, his soft laughter pulling her from the daze she'd lapsed into. Twisting a flat brown nipple between her fingers as she settled her hips more heavily against his groin, she narrowed her eyes. "You're not exactly in a position where you'd want to make me angry," she pointed out silkily as she slid a hand between them to cup him intimately. "Not with all your vulnerable parts showing," she whispered as she moved seductively against him.

Groaning as she rolled her hips, Hotch steadied her quickly. "You're killing me," he said throatily as her hair fell around him.

"Not yet," she drawled, her tone a promise.

Gripping the edges of her gown, he pulled it over her head in one smooth movement, baring her heavy breasts to him. Wrapping his arms around her waist, he buried his face against her, her musky perfume heightening his arousal. "No more talking," he ordered, mouthing one berry tipped breast. "I have it on good authority that it's overrated."

"Ahhh," Pen breathed, throwing her head back as he tongued first one peak, then the other. "Normally, I'd agree with you," she said, her focus split as his strong hands cupped her ass, moving her so that the tip of his arousal began to pierce her creamy center, "...but, you need to hear this."

"Talk fast," Hotch warned, tonguing her nipple. "I'm losing interest in anything but your body at an accelerated pace here, sweetheart."

Smiling as he slowly slid deeper into her steaming core, Penelope whispered, "I love you, too."

"Good," Hotch whispered, burying a hand in her silky curls as he lifted his hips to claim her. "That makes this much, much sweeter."

Wrapping her arms around his strong neck as her body found a natural rhythm with hers, the yin to his yang, Penelope felt herself letting go of her tight hold on reality, allowing his gentle caresses to carry her toward paradise once more.

Their ardent cries mingled as one retreated and the other advanced, the perfect synchronicity of the moment painfully evident as their bodies met. Soft gasps and moans of pleasure escaped their lips as her body tightened around his, a silken glove wrapped around a steely staff.

Moving faster, Aaron gripped her hips as his body slid in and out of hers, pulling hungry sounds from her parted lips. "That's it, Sweetheart. Give in to it," he breathed against her ear.

"So, close," Penelope said, her voice high and desperate as her movement on his body became tighter...hotter.

"God, yes," Hotch groaned as her soft walls contracted around him, coaxing him toward a precipice that promised paradise. Tightening his grip on her hips, he helped her move, meeting each downward thrust of her body with an upward stroke of his own. "God, Penelope!" he bit out, his veins standing out on his corded throat as pleasure pervaded his body.

Screaming his name as her body convulsed, she gasped as the wet sound of skin slapping skin continued and her nails dug into his neck as his rough shout filled the air.

"Oh, Goooooddddd," Hotch groaned as he exploded inside her, his hips moving with tight, jerky strokes as he filled her with his essence.

"Yesss!" Penelope squealed as his back arched, his arousal piercing the heart of her, pulling a second orgasm from her spent body. Gasping, she collapsed against him, sweaty and disoriented.

Long minutes later, she became aware of his strong, warm hands stroking her spine. Loathe to move...to give up this profound connection she'd found with him, she hummed appreciatively.

Hearing the soft sound, Hotch dropped a kiss against her damp forehead, her head still resting heavily on his chest. "How do you feel, sweetheart?" he asked, his smooth voice reverberating against her skin.

And smiling faintly, Penelope nestled closer. "Like the girl I used to be," she replied dreamily.

And together, she and Hotch never allowed that girl to become lost again.

_**Finis**_


End file.
